I’m a lucky woman. I am surrounded in love with a family that supports me. I treasure them but I am also at a time where I need to redefine me. This year I have a child going to highschool after 6 years of homeschooling. 6 years of having him at home and doing massive research projects, learning and growing together every day. Since I had my son over 13 years ago and my daughter 9 I havent had two in school ever. I know there will be some tough times as everyone adjust but I also know that in the end both children will do just fine. They are smart, kind, and resilient. Am i though? Will i get through all these changes? At 36 years old will I be able to reinvent myself beyond being a stay at home mom and a teacher to my kids? Ive taught my children to set goals to work towards, to give themselves positive reinforcements and to set themselves up for success. Can I do the same for myself? The answer, in short and obviously is yes, but the question really is “How can I be the best me? How can I encourage the things I’ve taught to bloom within myself?” All those old self conscience questions come up, the ones most of us hear at some point. This is my point. What will I do with it?
The answer is hope is that I will soar. With the changes in life here now Ive begun to make sure I will be okay, I will be successful, I can do this. I have ideas of what this transition period will look like but I know that at any time my own self could destroy my positivity. Do you ever feel this way? Like your own worse enemy? I hope not, but I know those are out there that feel like this, like me, I am not alone and neither are you. I found out a short time ago that an old friend ended her life. I went through so many emotions but in the end its not “why?” that im left with but “im sorry”. Im sorry you felt like you couldnt do this anymore, after everything that you battled against, im sorry that you felt like you had no other choice. Im sorry I wasent there for you. For those reading this, I dont care if you are a stranger, please reach out. To me, to a friend, to a helpline, please keep fighting.
So, how will I soar? How am I setting myself up for success? I am turning to the things I know I love. I am crafting, I am reading, I am drinking as much tea as I want. I am turning to self care to get through this little bit so that I am strong and ready for the future. I ordered this beautiful gratitude journal that I started yesterday. Amazon under $10 Canadian https://www.amazon.ca/Good-Days-Start-Gratitude-Cultivate/dp/1976436184/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1OR8AG8F4NE1C&keywords=gratitude+journal&qid=1567617001&s=gateway&sprefix=gratitude+%2Caps%2C221&sr=8-1
Morning gratitude work I hope will help the slump, will help to see the light if there is dark. There is so much light in the world, you just have to look. “Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul.” – Amy Collette
Gratitude in words will influence action, will light the path. This is my hope and I am excited to see where this goes. “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie
Being a magic maker is something I have always been. From feelings as a child that nature was speaking to me and I could hear it, I tried to tell all the children around me. Now an adult who just knows that it’s in me to bring out the magic. From little things I’ve been doing for my kids for years, little traditions that they will always remember. Making fairy houses, setting up for santa coming, tooth fairy promises, all ways we show the magic that’s out there. The Bento lunches, the big birthdays, the fresh flowers we pick and put around the house. The way we stop and admire the moon or the brightness of the colour of the moss we see. Magic is everywhere and can be shared. My son kids see and spread magic in ways that make me proud. Spread your magic, spread your light, if you can make someone feel special in little ways that also bring you joy, I say go for it.
Here’s to changes and making the most of the moments given to us.
The Spotted Owl 